


the timid me (with trembling hands)

by hyejuulers



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Domestic, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, its some random name dw about her, mostly fluff but a lil angst at the end, they have a kid, ugh we love 2jin parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 02:57:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18489898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyejuulers/pseuds/hyejuulers
Summary: 2jin where Hyunjin was known to be the star athlete that Heejin fell for when they were young, but now they've got a kid and Hyunjin's learning to how to be a good parent





	the timid me (with trembling hands)

**Author's Note:**

> thank u 2jin gc on twt for making this happen  
> domestic 2jin  
> bottom text

“Jesus! What the heck!” 

 

Hyunjin’s been a lot better about her swearing once Soobin came around. 

 

“What in the world was that play? Can these people pass the ball? Can these people  _ please  _ pass the ball?? He was open! Goddamn!”

 

Well, she’s still working on it. 

 

“This formation is actual trash. Just retire already. God, this is why I don’t watch men play sports.” 

 

Hyunjin scoops up the baby and coos to her while turning off the tv with announcers that were too loud and players too stupid. She sinks into the couch. 

 

“Oh, I know you won’t be like those men.” A peck to Soobin’s cheek. “You’re a girl, of course you’re automatically better.” Soobin gurgles happily. “I bet you could beat them up right now, just as you are.” The baby grasps onto Hyunjin’s thumb, and Hyunjin hums, not wanting to get up. 

 

They fall asleep like that.

 

Not long after, Hyunjin is woken by a jangling of keys. Heejin always wore a set of bells on her keychain, and Hyunjin could probably sniff out the sound from a mile away. It’s not like she ever slept deeply, anyway. Careful not to jostle the baby, Hyunjin finally gets up from the couch. Her bones ache; she’s not quite the star athlete that Heejin fell in love with in college anymore, but she’s still got spunk, that’s for sure. 

 

Soobin is still peacefully snoring in her arms, and the couple quickly kiss before Hyunjin assists Heejin in the groceries. A brown paper bag replaces the tiny marshmallow of a human, and she gets to work on putting the milk in the fridge while she gives Heejin time to dote over their kid. She smiles softly to herself. 

 

*******

 

“Soobin!” Hyunjin shouts. The parents surrounding her wince at her loud voice. If you looked closely enough, you could see Soobin flinch slightly. Even Heejin jokingly puts a hand on her wife’s shoulder. 

 

Everybody knows Kim Hyunjin as the star athlete in college. Er, knew. She’s got a kid now. 

 

“You’re doing amazing, sweetie! Keep it up! I love you!”

 

She was the most competitive girl anybody knew. Whether it was out on the field or on any of the exams that she took.

 

Said daughter is embarrassed and tries to hide using her hair before realizing that she had tied it up beforehand. Her teammates, well-accustomed to her mom’s yelling, smile and jab playfully at her ribs, to which she pretends to double over, a wide grin still plastered on her face. 

 

Kim Hyunjin had never once in her life taken a chill pill, and she had never once let off the accelerator when it came to sports.

 

Her soccer team had just won by a landslide. Hyunjin comes bounding from the bleachers, water bottle in hand and ready to lift her kid up into the air. Heejin arrives not long after, and also embraces her child, albeit not with whooping as Hyunjin had. 

 

Soobin tries to hide her face in her hands, but it’s clear that she’s glowing from her parents' pride in her. 

 

“Does everybody see this kid? She’s my kid! Look at my kid! She made such great passes and  _ ugh _ -” Hyunjin pauses to hug her child again. “Isn’t she just wonderful?” 

 

“Mom, you’re embarrassing me.”

 

“Would it still count as embarrassing if I take your team out for ice cream?”

Soobin pretends to think it over for a second. 

 

“No, I wouldn’t say so.”

 

“Okay, well, that’s unfortunate, because you’re just gonna have to deal with being embarrassed some more.”

 

“ _ Mom _ .” 

 

Heejin smiles at her wife and shakes her head. Hyunjin catches her expression through the corner of her eye, and she relents. “Let’s go then, you guys deserve it. It’s on me; why don’t you catch up to your team and ask around if anybody’s free.”

 

A lot of the kids are free, and they pull up to the ice cream shop in the beat-up car that Hyunjin uses to carpool some of Soobin’s friends (much to the horror of the ice cream workers). 

 

Hyunjin politely makes small talk with the employees while she ignores the rabid children behind her, probably fighting to the death over a bag of cheetos. It’s the least she could do for making the poor teenagers, barely old enough to be legal to work, serve a horde of frothing kids hyped up with adrenaline. 

 

Later that day, when the commotion’s over and Soobin’s nice and comfy and asleep, when Heejin and Hyunjin are just laying in bed, Hyunjin traces shapes in Heejin’s hand as they drift off to sleep.

 

“Hyunjin?” 

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“I love you,” Heejin breathes, her voice barely above a whisper. 

 

“I love you too,” Hyunjin whispers, just as softly. 

 

They drift off to sleep. 

 

*******

 

Hyunjin finds herself younger. Not that much younger, but younger as in the first time that she went to Soobin’s game. Which is to say, maybe a couple of years ago. Okay, the better half of a decade. It’s not like she’s herself, rather, she’s looking from a window into the scene. 

 

Hyunjin sees her younger self on the bleachers, a visor on to block the sun. Of course, Heejin is on her right. 

 

Soobin accidentally kicks the ball a bit too far, and her teammate has to jog for a bit, but is eventually successful in stealing it back from an opponent. 

 

Dream Hyunjin instinctively clenches her left hand, the one facing away from Heejin, before letting go.

 

Heejin spots the small movement and places her head on her wife’s shoulders. She knows how hard the habit is to break. 

 

Hyunjin, to channel her nervous energy into something else, unsteadily shouts out some encouragement to her daughter, but it’s more like she’s barking orders. 

 

Heejin takes her right hand and puts it on her lap, playing with her fingers. Adjusting from the team captain that would push her players to the limit and above to being a mom that has to have unconditional love for a child is… difficult. It’s difficult. Heejin understands this. 

 

Soobin seems unaffected by Hyunjin’s inner turmoil, but when the ball gets stolen from her, Hyunjin surges up from her seat, mouth open, but no words spill out. 

 

Hyunjin’s mouth is dry, and she tries to blame her reddening cheeks on a sudden sunburn. Heejin puts an arm in front of Hyunjin’s thighs to get her to sit down. 

 

A third mistake. Even Soobin realizes what she’s done; she’s made the goal wide open and someone just kicked it in. The opposing team celebrates, and Hyunjin jumps to her feet. A long list of insults leaves her mouth before she can stop it. Other parents are incredulous. Soobin is shocked, and after a moment, runs off of the field, tears in her eyes.

 

*******

 

“Hey, woah, woah, Hyunjin. What’s going on? What happened?”    
  
Hyunjin has a thin film of cold sweat on her, and her breathing is ragged. She’s clutching her pajamas and the blanket on the bed. She quickly sits up, and her vision flickers with dots. Her eyes dart to the digital alarm clock by the bed. It reads 3:02 AM. 

 

A couple of beats go by. 

 

Heejin waits patiently, rubbing circles on Hyunjin’s back with her palm. 

 

“Take your time.”

 

And Hyunjin does. 

 

She waits until her breathing steadies. She waits until she stops trembling. She waits until her hands slowly let go of the fabrics. 

 

“H-Heejin…”    
  


She waits until her voice cooperates, letting out one more labored breath before beginning again. 

 

“Heejin, I had a nightmare… God, it was terrible. I cussed out Soobin like you saw me do in college. I can’t… I couldn’t live with myself if I had actually done that. In real life. If I did that,” Hyunjin’s voice breaks, but she finishes her sentence. “I’d be just as bad as my parents.”

 

Heejin didn’t actually know much about her partner’s parents, but from the tidbits she was able to glean from college Hyunjin’s drunken blackouts, she could tell that they were not good people, to say the least. 

 

“You… you wanna talk about it?”

 

Hyunjin hiccups. “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

 

Heejin had always asked if Hyunjin wanted to explain a bit, but she had always refused to share. And Heejin had always respected that. 

 

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to make this about me when…” Heejin trails off. 

 

“No, I’m positive. It’s not right that I’ve kept you in the dark about people who’ve made me who I am today, you know? Aren’t relationships supposed to have communication?” Hyunjin cracks a weak smile, but her tears are gone. Nevertheless, Heejin continues to rub her wife’s back. Hyunjin smiles a bit wider, a bit more genuinely. 

 

“I guess you could say that they made me link my self-worth directly to how well in sports I did? And, yeah, of course, they wanted me to do well academically, but my dad was a pro basketball player and was passionate about it. Super passionate. So he wanted me to be the next “him”, I guess. Even in middle school, I took sports super seriously because of them. It was like, woah, my classmate doesn’t value athleticism as much as I do? You’re automatically a nerd.”

 

Hyunjin pauses to recollect herself. Heejin grasps her hand with both of hers.

 

“For as long as I can remember, failing at being the best in my team was a huge blow to my self- esteem. I would train and go to practices 24/7. The toxic mindset really… It really set me back. I know some people who’ve ended friendships with me because I was too intense. I- I don’t blame them. I understand it.”

 

Heejin runs her thumb over the back of Hyunjin’s hand. She looks spaced out as she’s recounting all of her childhood. It’s slightly worrying, to be honest. 

 

“It was… so hard breaking out of that mindset. I’m scared of falling back into that pit. I didn’t enjoy sports at all. I felt like… I had to continue to do it, you know? Everybody knew me as that jock girl. I’d spent so many years investing in that kind of thing. I just don’t want the same thing for our child, Heejin. What if I mess it up?”

 

Heejin looks intensely into Hyunjin’s eyes. “You aren’t going to mess it up. You’re a great mom. I know you are. Do you see how much you care for Soobin? You’ve put your past behind you. Seriously, I am proud of you for growing into the woman you are today.”

 

Heejin embraces her wife fiercely, and Hyunjin’s arms limply stick to her side. Many emotions are swirling around her, and she can’t put a name to a single one. In any case, she’s content with them. It’s not like she has to have everything figured out right now. She can just float through this sea of feelings, and she’ll eventually find land. Maybe she’s already found it. Maybe Heejin is her land. 

 

“You’re still learning. We’re all still learning. It’s okay to trip up, but I don’t think you will. I know for a fact that you’re going to be great, like you always are.”

 

Yeah, maybe Heejin  _ is  _ her land.


End file.
